To combat unwanted loneliness during Christmas, the social network Nextdoor, which brings together people who live in the same neighbourhood, has launched the Compta amb mi (count on me) campaign, which invites neighbours to contact each other and help each other so that no one feels isolated during the holidays. This network wants to raise awareness of the problem of loneliness and has conducted a survey among its users. The results a few days before the start of the holidays are that 55% say that they are less eager for this Christmas than they were other years, and 44% are afraid of feeling isolated during these dates due to the restrictions. From the social network they warn that anyone of any age can find themselves in a situation of unwanted solitude throughout their lives if the social relationships, company and vital objectives they have are different from what they would like. And the pandemic accentuates all three of these.
"Adaptability is the key to a good Christmas"
Psychologists and sociologists analyze the consequences of the pandemic holidays
Barcelona"Society is punished by the number of months we have been living with this reality of restrictions and waivers. We have lived through many mournings of many kinds and now what we would need would be a home, family and even tradition, because Christmas being a repetitive thing, it gives us security, but we cannot have it as we would like to have it". This is what Carol Palma, psychologist and member of the home psychology section of the Official College of Psychology of Catalonia (COPC), says. She explains that Christmas, like all family rituals, has a social function and brings out the feeling of belonging, family identity and security. These are values that "this year we would need but that we cannot have in a normal way because the restrictions will make many families renounce to spending the holidays as usual", she says. "After so much mourning we would have done very well to get together and share. People need a balance between so much renunciation because we have lost many things: from loved ones to jobs, to social life and leisure", Palma points out. Along the same lines, Francesc Núñez, a sociologist and lecturer at the UOC, stresses the importance of the social ritual of Christmas: "It is a time of reunion and celebration to be together and to be alive; it is a confirmation that we are well and a reunion with those we love". Núñez says that the Christmas holidays have always meant the coincidence of a more hedonistic and immediate pleasure - eating, drinking, receiving gifts and partying - with deeper values, related to the meaning of life, and which are what made Christmas so important. "And now they tell us that all this cannot be and they minimize the importance of these holidays -the sociologist states- telling us that it's OK, that it is only one year, and that it is not so important either, but there are many people who do live it as an important moment and, therefore, there will be a lot of frustration and a feeling of shock for not being able to celebrate it", he points out.
Politicians lack an emotional speech
Núñez misses the "emotional speeches" of leaders and decision-makers, both political and health directors, in managing this pandemic. "We have been accumulating traumas for months and we have big emotional scars that generate pain, but this doesn't seem to matter to governments and decision-makers" he says. "When calculations are made about how to fight the pandemic, the emotional factor is not there, it is invisible, but instead in people's daily lives that really weighs. Not being able to see family, to hug them, not being able to gather together to for Christmas... for a long time now our daily life has been boycotted and all these renunciations threaten the human condition because we are social beings", he says, adding that now it is Christmas time, which is one of the few collective rituals we have left - it was very criticized for its consumerist side, but it is also undeniably important for some people -, and it will increase frustration and the feeling of uncertainty.
Palma mentions that uncertainty is precisely one of the feelings that is most difficult to deal with. "If we were guaranteed that by giving up Christmas we would solve the pandemic, I think everyone would commit to it. But that's not the case. We don't know if it will be enough or how many more resignations we will have to make and this generates a great fatigue that adds to the one we already have accumulated and that makes many people begin to feel anger".
She believes that each person's adaptive capacity will be the key to having a better time during this strange Christmas. "There are people who have a great capacity to adapt and these are the ones who can live this situation better. It's time for being original and reinventing Christmas. In this line we have seen families who are already organizing themselves to find alternative formulas to celebrate the holidays: a walk outdoors, a snack in the garden or a video call..." "It's clear that they are families with a lot of capacity to adapt and this means that they will be better off because invention is a positive ingredient in this situation and is a protective factor in such a difficult time", this expert says, who believes, instead, that more rigid families who are trapped by the blow of not being able to make holidays as usual "will live through it with more sadness and pain".
As for children, this expert does not believe that this different Christmas will be a problem for them. "It is precisely the children who, with this crisis, have shown that they have a great capacity to adapt. What they like is to be with their bubble if there is well-being and time to play, and therefore they will not feel so much the impact of not being able to make big family meals, for example, which is something that adults like more". Those who will probably have the worst time are "older people because they are the ones who need to bring the family together every year, to meet up again, and because many people value time spent together in special celebrations because they don't know how many more they will be able to have, and that's why they are so important".
